What Career Women Think About and Want in 2019, candid interviews with a few amazing women...

Who remembers the movie, What Women Want? LOL... well, this interview is asking women directly what they think and want. Did Mel Gibson get it right? That's up to you, but these Career Moms sure do know what they want for their careers and families and I hope you enjoy the following stories of a few amazing mothers who also work hard in their careers... 

In honor of Women's History Month 2019, I decided to ask 5 questions to a few career moms who are working hard at home and in their careers. How do we do it? I know how I do it but I wanted to ask some other women how they do it all. I was also curious about their perspective on the workplace for women, the future and what they love most about their careers, connecting with their families, and how they juggle so many competing priorities.

I have to say, I am so impressed by these talented women. I am grateful and blessed they are part of my life!

Here are their stories as told through a few interview questions...

First up is my amazing dance Mom friend, Natalie Lugo. Natalie is a 33 year old Veteran of the United States Air Force who currently works as a teacher's aide for special education students. She loves her job and goes to work with a smile on her face everyday. Natalie is a single Mom of 2 children ages 12 and 4 and has been divorced for 5 years. I love how honest and caring Natalie is and she has been such a supportive, kind, and loving friend. She always has realistic and practical advice for me. Her kids are polite, kind, smart and they learn it from their Mama!! Here are her answers to my questions:

1. What do you love most about being a career Mom?  What I love most about being a career Mom is having the ability to provide for my family.
2. What do you love most when you connect with your kids? My kids are my world, so everything is a connection with me. Whether it's just getting them ready for school, making meals driving them to and from practice, getting them ready for bed and everything else in between. There are times when you want to rip off your hair, don't get me wrong but every moment is a teachable moment. Shaping my kids to be kind, confident, and respectful in this society is my main mission of being a Mom; in my eyes the only way to teach these attributes is through connection.
3.  If you had 3 wishes to make the working world better for women, what would those be? If I has 3 wishes, it would be for women to unite together and not bring each other down. My second wish would be for even payroll as the male sex and lastly for empathy. People have lost their sense of compassion and are not empathetic to the needs of others. 
4. What kind of world do you hope your kids get to live as adults in? The kind of world I try and instill in my children; A compassionate, kind, equal opportunistic, peaceful, and happy world. 
5. What advice do you have to other Moms on balancing/juggling everything? It's not easy and this is coming from a single Mom but it is all worth it when you see their cute faces sleeping so peacefully at night and when you get those "Thank You Mom, you're the best" comments. Cherish every moment because time does go fast and be grateful for what you have because others may not be as lucky. Always remember if there is something in this world that you do not like as a Mom, you have the ability to change it through your child because they are the future! 

Thank you Natalie!

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Up next is my interview with Tara Philipp. Tara is an HR Director at Speedy Concrete Cutting. She is also my amazing cousin! She is a Mom of two beautiful children ages 4 and 1.  Here are her responses to the questions...(sorry for inconsistent formatting issues... computer having a glitch and I'm too busy to figure out... )

1. What do you love most about being a career Mom? The same week I found out I was pregnant with my daughter my husband lost his job.  When that happened I vowed to NEVER be in a situation where I (on my own) wasn’t earning enough to keep my family stable.    My career fulfills a requirement I have as a mom - to provide for my children. It allows my husband and I to share in that responsibility and ensure that it doesn’t become a burdensome task for only one of us.  When that happens pressure builds and animosity can brew.  I am proud of my contribution to my families financial health and well being. I did take maternity leave and an extended leave for my son (14 months) but that was a season and one that l will always cherish.  I happen to love my work and I am teaching my son who is 4 about responsibilities and taking ownership for the things he wants in life because they all cost money.  Kids need our love but they need things too and so, for me its what needs to be done and I enjoy it.  Truth be told it wasn’t until my maternity leave that my boss really began to value my work.  After 14 months off with my son,  I got a 10K raise and he paid 100% of my benefits and after my second child was born and I went back after 12 weeks I was promoted to Director of HR and he literally DOUBLED my salary.  I made more than good on my vow and expect nothing but more success and great things in the future. (Sidebar: hubby found a job 3 months later - Thank God, but without that loss and fear I likely wouldn’t have gone back to work so soon after having my daughter and with that I wouldn’t have been up for the promotion that doubled my salary overnight.  It was a blessing in disguise!)

2. What do you love most when you connect with your kids?  Seeing their personalities evolve and hearing their insights on life.  My son has theories on space, the dinosaurs and believe it or not even death and Gods love that he has shared with me.  The one superpower I wish I had is a photographic memory now because as I look into their eyes or watch them from afar I can’t help but wish I could bottle up the moment and treasure it forever.  since that’s not possible I try and stay in the moment with them as best I can and leave the phones, videos and limit the intrusion of tech in my interactions with them but It is hard because like everyone else I am always “plugged in”.

3. If you had 3 wishes to make the working world better for women, what would those be? I think the world is just fine for women and men for that matter. You won’t find me marching for women rights or holding up a sign on Washington.  My rights are God given and I am a child of the one True King,  Jesus Christ my Savior.   I don’t feel women are disadvantaged, a minority or at all in need of advocacy - the only ones who can liberate us is OURSELVES!

4. What kind of world do you hope your kids get to live as adults in? I am not utopian. There is nothing new on this earth that hasn’t happened for generations and so If I may, I’d like to rephrase this because who and what I can control and shape to a degree are my kids not the world...

4a) "what kind of adults do you want your kids to be as they get out into the world?”  Kids that are realistic, hard working and who know that they are special to ME but that they may not save the world, be natural leaders, be inspirations, get paid for doing what they love or be famous and I don’t want them thinking all that matters is that they follow their passions.  That rhetoric has left a lot of young adults shocked and disappointed  because they felt entitled and wanted things to be FAIR to them because they were told they could RUN the world and BE Anything and that isn’t true. I don’t like that message - its not realistic and creates airhead ideas and is a defeatist point of view at its cornerstone.  Life is not fair,  nothing is free, everything worth having, being or knowing takes time, dedication, hard work and determination to master and possess.   I want my kids to be ok with that and work hard to level up the playing field with real skills, realistic expectations and a tough enough skin to take the hits because in life they keep on coming.  I want them to know that sometimes you don’t know how strong you are until you just damn well have to be.

5. What advice do you have to other Moms on balancing/juggling everything? That we don’t have to juggle everything.  That lie is in our own heads.  Often times authoritative women take control of every aspect of their families lives and they go after selling Girl Scout cookies and the school book sale as intensely as they do managing a business or running for office! I have been guilty of that and I realized that by being the one who has to control and be in charge of everything that I was forcing my “support system” AKA husband, grandparents, teachers, community, church, friends, family into the "passenger seat" while I drove the car of life.   Refusing to let go and let your support system take the wheel is a surefire way to feel like it's all on you and support the lie that we have to do it all.  If you’re like me the reason you likely stripped your support system of the ability to help is because the tasks (laundry, bills, reservations, holidays, cleaning, cooking, bed routine, picking kids clothes out, whatever) wasn’t done to your specifications or timeline and so instead you took back the jobs, tasks, responsibilities until you were drowning in them, felt anchored by them and felt abandoned by your passenger who sat by while you did it all.  If thats how you’re feeling - look around because you likely took the wheel and over exerted yourself into every role possible and you probably have a control issue and need to see things more clearly.   

Bonus- what do you do for self-care and why is this important?

I rant to my girlfriends who are in the same boat as me (in most of the mom related and marriage related stuff) and say all the ugly harsh things I shouldn’t say out loud to anyone - because these girls are my tribe and we all need somewhere to showcase the “ugly”. I also started seeing a counselor from a program called Moms Responding to Maternal Stress.  She comes to my home and works with me on stress management, parenting techniques and helps me with goal setting and work life balance.  It really helps to have support in raising my kids and understanding all the intricacies of what actually takes shape as we raise them.  My self care usually involves coffee and good conversation and a handful of people I am blessed to have by my side and who want the best for me and my tribe.

Thank you Tara!!

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My 3rd Mom has been my friend since childhood. Melissa Sutlovich is in a Management position at Limani of Roslyn. She worked her way up to management pretty quickly and has been in the hospitality industry for over 17 years. She is an event planner extraordinaire and an amazing Mom. Here is her story:

1. What do you love most about being a career Mom?

I love the sense of accomplishment. My children are grateful when I give them something because they know I worked for it. I am a single mother for the past 11 years so they know a one income household can be a little tough. They are appreciative and that makes me happy. 

2. What do you love most when you connect with your kids? 

My children are older now, 19 and 17, so it's very rare that we are all together. However, when we are all home, I just enjoy their presence. We laugh like no tomorrow. We really are all best friends. 


3. If you had 3 wishes to make the working world better for women, what would those be?

-Daycare in most workplaces and at all times. Working in the Hospitality industry, we don't exactly have a 9am-5pm. In fact, it could be a 9pm-5am. We need to know our children are safe an cared for while we are working. 

4. What kind of world do you hope your kids get to live as adults in?I would hope they would live in a helpful, friendly and compassionate environment. We are always so self involved and busy with our  own things that we forget a little compassion goes a long way. We are all so disconnected with technology that we don't realize what we have to offer is free; it's our time. 

5. What advice do you have to other Moms on balancing/juggling everything?Just breath, it gets better! You are not a terrible mother, no one has their shit together, yes other people's kids are just as terrible as yours and you are doing a good job!

Bonus- what do you do for self-care and why is this important?

I don't want you to write that I drink butttttttttttt I do...lol

Don't we all, Melissa?!? LOL... yes, we need to drink too sometimes :) Love your honesty, girl! 

I am still waiting for the other volunteers an will update this blog as soon as I hear back from them. 

Thank you to these amazing Career Moms!! You ladies are rockstars!!