What makes you feel inspired?

 What makes you feel inspired? 

Such a great question from my Mom journal for the August 26th 2022 writing prompt. 

Many things this year so far have made me feel inspired. My kids' kindness, my husband's love, my mother's devotion to her family. My friends and neighbors and family for showing me so much love on my birthday in July. So. Many. Things. 

But... thinking of my inner inspiration coming from myself,  I wrote this in that moment and want to share how my heart was feeling on August 26th:

Question: when you look back at this past year,  what makes you feel inspired? What does this inspire you to achieve or do?

My answer:

I feel inspired when I look at my 1 mile benchmark time at Orangetheory Fitness. I was able to run a mile in 8 minutes 46 seconds. I ran a mile in less than 9 minutes! A couple months ago in May, I was at my healthiest! This proves I don't need to smoke cigarettes, that I am athletic and can accomplish any goal I set my mind to. This benchmark time inspires me to keep going - to quit smoking for good and to push myself beyond limits I set for myself. I need to re-read this paragraph every hour. Smoking is a bad disease and I need to remember why I quit before, how I did it and that I'm okay without cigarettes. I don't need them to feel good. 

It amazes me that at age 40, I still fall into bad past habits when under stress. Smoking cigarettes has always been something I did to cope- college is where it began. I was never addicted though the way I am now that I'm older with kids. I can quit for months, years, and days at a time and yet I never fully have said goodbye to the life killer cigarette. I wonder why that is? Well, I been reading a lot about nicotine addiction and how horrible it truly is- it's a disease in fact. 

So, of all the things I could have written about that inspired me this year so far,  I chose to write about a time this year from January to May when I was not smoking.  Those months at Orangetheory Fitness gave me my life back, it helped me not smoke. 

So,  I think as soon as the kids are back in school,  I'm going to join again, quit smoking for good and never look back. 

I truly want to see how far I can take my athletic abilities. I want to run a mile in 8 minutes by Christmas. I want to be healthy for my kids. I want to be around for a long time. I don't want to be like my poor Dad who could never quit smoking and ended up passing away from a heart attack at age 65!

You think I'd be smarter, and just quit for good by now but its not that easy. The makers of cigarettes know this. 

I truly wish I couldn't buy them anywhere. I wish they were never invented.  I wish I could stay strong every day to fight this disease of smoking. 

I can. I will. I will prove it to myself. I will inspire myself and you all soon enough.

Thanks for reading!

What has inspired you this year so far?

- Kerry 






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