Understanding the hearts of Stay at Home Moms...
Here are the questions I asked SAHMs and the responses were incredible!
Hello and thanks for volunteering to be featured on my blog, www.momohlogue.com. Please send me a brief bio of who you are as a person (education, work history, hobbies, dreams/goals) and/or your LinkedIn profile, and your responses by Wednesday, March 13th. If you need more time, please take it and get back to me when you can! I appreciate your honesty and perspective. Stay at home Moms are amazing multitasking rockstars who get it done!! 1. What do you love most about staying home with the kids? 2. What do you love most when you connect with the kids? 3. Do you ever miss working outside of the home and if so, what do you miss? 4. Do you plan to go back to work? If so, what is your ideal work situation? How do you wish employers treated working Moms? 4a. What skills from being a SAHM translate to the workplace? 5. If you had 3 wishes to make staying home easier, what would they be? 6. What do you want most for your kids to know about you as a person? 7. What do you do for self-care and why is this important? Thank you!! Kerry
Here are 2 out of the 5 responses to date, I will post more once they come in.
Here are the stories of Christine and Nicole.
They are two very special people to me. Chrissy and I went to high school together and we were on the tennis team. Chrissy is one of the funniest, coolest, and kindest person I know.
And Nicole, well, she is just a blessing in my life from childhood to today. My cousin and sister in Christ...a beautiful soul.
Thank you ladies for sharing your lives with my audience on this blog.
___________________________
My name is Christine Rose. I am a 36 year old college graduate, wife, and mother of 2 year old twins. I was born and raised in Queens, New York where I still reside with my family. I attended Queens college where I earned my BA in English. My most recent job was as a Manager of a Patient Care Department at Elmhurst Hospital. I worked there for six years until I became pregnant with my twins. I have become a Stay at Home Mom since then. Though I absolutely love staying home with my kids it has proved to be more difficult than I originally thought. Remembering that I am a person with needs that can't be ignored has been the biggest challenge. In the first months of my babies lives it was so easy to get lost in the change, feed, cuddle, repeat that is the life of a parent of newborns, especially since it was times two. It was a beautiful experience but an exhausting one. As they grew and feedings throughout the day lessened I found myself remembering that I existed and that things that I used to love to do (reading and getting together with friends) and things I needed to do (get healthy) had to make their way back into my life. I started to stay up later at night when the rest of the family was sleeping so i could read in peace. That one simple thing made me feel so much more human again. More time passed and I took up running and eating healthier. Running has changed my life completely. Not only has it helped me to lose weight and get strong (mentally and physically) but it is also something that is just for me. No matter what is going on at home or elsewhere getting some time alone to run, thanks to my father watching the kids or my husband being home, has been totally liberating. Now, I am training to do my first half marathon this coming May. Another challenge is keeping my marriage happy. No matter how much my husband and I love our babies we have had to go out of our way to ensure that we are also keeping each other on the top of our list of priorities. Putting aside chores and routine obligations for some quiet time for the two of us is extremely important yet can so easily be forgotten. Luckily, our families help us on occasion with babysitting and we sneak away to nice meals out or a Broadway show, two things we always loved to do together.
Now on to the amazing parts of being a Stay at Home Mom. I feel so lucky that I am able to take care of the kids myself. It means so much to me to be able to watch every minute of their lives and they grow, learn, and explore the world around them. Watching them interact with each other and compete with each other is so much fun. Often times they are competing for my attention which is an amazing feeling. Waking up every day and being the person that they rely on most in the world is such a humbling experience. It makes me realize that anything i have done in my life makes no difference to these children. They see perfection when they look at me. And because of this they make me want to be the best person I can be so that I can be there for them and be a good example. Some people think that they need work outside of the home to feel accomplished. I am not one of those people. Meeting my children's needs everyday is more significant to me that any job I have ever had. Not one day has gone by where I miss working. It has surprised me just how little I think about the working world that I have left. Thinking about it now has me feeling blessed that I don't have to be a part of it. In my experience, employers don't care about the families that you leave at home. They just want the job done and for you to leave your issues at the door when you come in. I can't fathom putting my job before my kids on those days where they are sick but I can't miss another day of work or sending them off to daycare when they really just want to stay with their mommy. I give a lot of credit to working moms who have to do this all the time. It must be so difficult and heartbreaking. I would be perfectly happy to stay home with them through their whole childhood. My mother stayed at home with my brother and I and we were so happy to have her there everyday. If things go according to plan I won't go back to work until they are grown. When they start school and I have more free time I would love to go back to one of my old passions of writing. When I studied English in college it was my intention to become a writer but I put that on the back burner when I started working full time regular jobs. A few things that I wish people understood about being a Stay at Home Mom are that we aren't maids, cooks, or laundry professionals. I stay home with the kids to take care of them, not the house. I am constantly cleaning up after them because messes follow children wherever they go so that goes with the territory. But somehow taking care of your children at home translates to you being the sole person responsible for all other household chores. This is unfair and unreasonable. But, honestly, it is up to you as the stay at home mom to claim your responsibilities as your own and let your partner know that they are also expected to participate. When my children are adults I hope that they look back on their lives with pride. Everything I do is for them and I want them to know that. I hope that their futures hold the same love and joy that they have brought into my life. My mother told me that her life began when I was born. Now I know what she meant .
___________________________
Please send me a brief bio of who you are as a person (education, work history, hobbies, dreams/goals) and/or your LinkedIn profile...
I am 30 years old, wife to Charlie and mom to Lucas, Ella and Lia (ages 3, 2 and 1). I work one day a week (5 hours) helping an individual with special needs to meet his goals and become more independent. I have worked with him for 13 years now. I am a graduate of Adelphi University, majored in communications and sociology. I have worked since I was in middle school at various jobs in retail and the restaurant industry and after graduating, I owned my own coaching practice for “twenty-somethings” which I sold (gladly) upon becoming a mom.
1. What do you love most about staying home with the kids? I was made to do this. My soul finds deep satisfaction in this role. It not only fills me up in a way that nothing else can, but at the same time empties me out as I pour out myself for my children. There is such beauty and significance in how both of those things can happen simultaneously. Secondly, I love that I have the power and privilege to decide how my children’s days transpire from morning until bedtime. All of our individual days combined make up the whole of our lives, and when I look at it that way, I see the weighty task I have in front of me. I get to set the tone. For example, I can wake up with a headache and then teach them through my actions that a headache is an excuse to be nasty to others or I can show them what it looks like to suffer gracefully and therefore teach them how to do the same.
2. What do you love most when you connect with the kids? I love that they each have different personalities and it’s amazing to connect with them individually. I think it’s wild how at ages 3, 2 and 1, I can already see so much of who they are... what comes easy to them, what is challenging, what brings them joy, what makes them most mad, how they interact with others, etc. I get a front row seat!
3. Do you ever miss working outside of the home and if so, what do you miss? In all honesty I do not. If anything, I miss the idea of it; drinking a hot coffee uninterrupted, getting in the car without having to strap and unstrap 3 car seats... Being a mom full time carries such physical, mental and emotional stresses that it seems easier to not have to deal with the demands of raising kids all day. But I know for me, if I worked outside of the house full time it would be drudgery, no matter what the work was. My mind and heart would be with my children
4. Do you plan to go back to work? If so, what is your ideal work situation? How do you wish employers treated working Moms? I do not know what my future holds and I am open to what God has planned for me! That being said, I do not have plans to work outside of the home anytime soon. I would like to say my plans are to raise my children, then care for my parents as they become elderly and help my children raise their children, but who knows! I do enjoy sitting with a person, listening to them and offering advice or “coaching”. But that is just part of who I am and I will always incorporate that into my life to any degree whether or not I am ever paid for it again.
4a. What skills from being a SAHM translate to the workplace? Running a home is like running a business. You are the overseer of all things, planning the day to day and making sure all things run smoothly. You have a budget to keep and goals to reach. And many tasks to complete in a time sensitive manor. If you have more than one child, you have to manage individual lives and know them each distinctively... Their strengths, weaknesses, where their is room for improvement, when you need to come down on them hard or lighten things up. You get to be creative; in cooking, organizing and beautifying your home, buying clothing and dressing your children, finding ways to keep them active and learning. The list goes on and on.
5. If you had 3 wishes to make staying home easier, what would they be? To have a cook, a house keeper, and a babysitter. Just kidding. That was my first instinct but in reality that would strip my children from seeing what hard work and making something from nothing looks like. My 3 wishes would be: 1. To be able to have a clear, descriptive timeline of each of my children’s accomplishments/ personal growth in my head. This would help me to see and remember how far they’ve come. We might be dealing with tantrums now but at least we got past biting! Lol 2. To know what it was like for me at their age so I can relate and deal with them accordingly. It’s crazy how when you’re young you wish your parents would understand you better and then BAM your the parent and your perspective has seamlessly changed and it’s hard to see from the former view again. 3. To have all of God’s wisdom to raise them!
6. What do you want most for your kids to know about you as a person? I want them to know I love God and that Jesus gave me life in abundance. I want them to know and see how much I love and respect their father. I want them to see my joy. I want them to know that I am family oriented first and foremost. I want them to know virtues I cherish like fortitude, perseverance, selflessness, hard work, sacrifice, patience, empathy. I want them to know how important church is to me.
7. What do you do for self-care and why is this important? I put my kids to bed early every night, spend quality time with my husband or read a good book with some hot tea. I chat with my friends throughout the day and make time to see them often. I pray. I organize, declutter and redecorate my house because it’s fun for me. I socialize a lot on the weekends (with and without kids). I take long, boiling hot showers. These things are important because they charge my batteries and give life a rhythm, an ebb and flow.
_______________________________
Thank you rockstar Moms Nicole and Christine!! You are incredible women and the world is lucky to have you!
Hello and thanks for volunteering to be featured on my blog, www.momohlogue.com. Please send me a brief bio of who you are as a person (education, work history, hobbies, dreams/goals) and/or your LinkedIn profile, and your responses by Wednesday, March 13th. If you need more time, please take it and get back to me when you can! I appreciate your honesty and perspective. Stay at home Moms are amazing multitasking rockstars who get it done!! 1. What do you love most about staying home with the kids? 2. What do you love most when you connect with the kids? 3. Do you ever miss working outside of the home and if so, what do you miss? 4. Do you plan to go back to work? If so, what is your ideal work situation? How do you wish employers treated working Moms? 4a. What skills from being a SAHM translate to the workplace? 5. If you had 3 wishes to make staying home easier, what would they be? 6. What do you want most for your kids to know about you as a person? 7. What do you do for self-care and why is this important? Thank you!! Kerry
Here are 2 out of the 5 responses to date, I will post more once they come in.
Here are the stories of Christine and Nicole.
They are two very special people to me. Chrissy and I went to high school together and we were on the tennis team. Chrissy is one of the funniest, coolest, and kindest person I know.
And Nicole, well, she is just a blessing in my life from childhood to today. My cousin and sister in Christ...a beautiful soul.
Thank you ladies for sharing your lives with my audience on this blog.
___________________________
My name is Christine Rose. I am a 36 year old college graduate, wife, and mother of 2 year old twins. I was born and raised in Queens, New York where I still reside with my family. I attended Queens college where I earned my BA in English. My most recent job was as a Manager of a Patient Care Department at Elmhurst Hospital. I worked there for six years until I became pregnant with my twins. I have become a Stay at Home Mom since then. Though I absolutely love staying home with my kids it has proved to be more difficult than I originally thought. Remembering that I am a person with needs that can't be ignored has been the biggest challenge. In the first months of my babies lives it was so easy to get lost in the change, feed, cuddle, repeat that is the life of a parent of newborns, especially since it was times two. It was a beautiful experience but an exhausting one. As they grew and feedings throughout the day lessened I found myself remembering that I existed and that things that I used to love to do (reading and getting together with friends) and things I needed to do (get healthy) had to make their way back into my life. I started to stay up later at night when the rest of the family was sleeping so i could read in peace. That one simple thing made me feel so much more human again. More time passed and I took up running and eating healthier. Running has changed my life completely. Not only has it helped me to lose weight and get strong (mentally and physically) but it is also something that is just for me. No matter what is going on at home or elsewhere getting some time alone to run, thanks to my father watching the kids or my husband being home, has been totally liberating. Now, I am training to do my first half marathon this coming May. Another challenge is keeping my marriage happy. No matter how much my husband and I love our babies we have had to go out of our way to ensure that we are also keeping each other on the top of our list of priorities. Putting aside chores and routine obligations for some quiet time for the two of us is extremely important yet can so easily be forgotten. Luckily, our families help us on occasion with babysitting and we sneak away to nice meals out or a Broadway show, two things we always loved to do together.
Now on to the amazing parts of being a Stay at Home Mom. I feel so lucky that I am able to take care of the kids myself. It means so much to me to be able to watch every minute of their lives and they grow, learn, and explore the world around them. Watching them interact with each other and compete with each other is so much fun. Often times they are competing for my attention which is an amazing feeling. Waking up every day and being the person that they rely on most in the world is such a humbling experience. It makes me realize that anything i have done in my life makes no difference to these children. They see perfection when they look at me. And because of this they make me want to be the best person I can be so that I can be there for them and be a good example. Some people think that they need work outside of the home to feel accomplished. I am not one of those people. Meeting my children's needs everyday is more significant to me that any job I have ever had. Not one day has gone by where I miss working. It has surprised me just how little I think about the working world that I have left. Thinking about it now has me feeling blessed that I don't have to be a part of it. In my experience, employers don't care about the families that you leave at home. They just want the job done and for you to leave your issues at the door when you come in. I can't fathom putting my job before my kids on those days where they are sick but I can't miss another day of work or sending them off to daycare when they really just want to stay with their mommy. I give a lot of credit to working moms who have to do this all the time. It must be so difficult and heartbreaking. I would be perfectly happy to stay home with them through their whole childhood. My mother stayed at home with my brother and I and we were so happy to have her there everyday. If things go according to plan I won't go back to work until they are grown. When they start school and I have more free time I would love to go back to one of my old passions of writing. When I studied English in college it was my intention to become a writer but I put that on the back burner when I started working full time regular jobs. A few things that I wish people understood about being a Stay at Home Mom are that we aren't maids, cooks, or laundry professionals. I stay home with the kids to take care of them, not the house. I am constantly cleaning up after them because messes follow children wherever they go so that goes with the territory. But somehow taking care of your children at home translates to you being the sole person responsible for all other household chores. This is unfair and unreasonable. But, honestly, it is up to you as the stay at home mom to claim your responsibilities as your own and let your partner know that they are also expected to participate. When my children are adults I hope that they look back on their lives with pride. Everything I do is for them and I want them to know that. I hope that their futures hold the same love and joy that they have brought into my life. My mother told me that her life began when I was born. Now I know what she meant .
___________________________
Please send me a brief bio of who you are as a person (education, work history, hobbies, dreams/goals) and/or your LinkedIn profile...
I am 30 years old, wife to Charlie and mom to Lucas, Ella and Lia (ages 3, 2 and 1). I work one day a week (5 hours) helping an individual with special needs to meet his goals and become more independent. I have worked with him for 13 years now. I am a graduate of Adelphi University, majored in communications and sociology. I have worked since I was in middle school at various jobs in retail and the restaurant industry and after graduating, I owned my own coaching practice for “twenty-somethings” which I sold (gladly) upon becoming a mom.
1. What do you love most about staying home with the kids? I was made to do this. My soul finds deep satisfaction in this role. It not only fills me up in a way that nothing else can, but at the same time empties me out as I pour out myself for my children. There is such beauty and significance in how both of those things can happen simultaneously. Secondly, I love that I have the power and privilege to decide how my children’s days transpire from morning until bedtime. All of our individual days combined make up the whole of our lives, and when I look at it that way, I see the weighty task I have in front of me. I get to set the tone. For example, I can wake up with a headache and then teach them through my actions that a headache is an excuse to be nasty to others or I can show them what it looks like to suffer gracefully and therefore teach them how to do the same.
2. What do you love most when you connect with the kids? I love that they each have different personalities and it’s amazing to connect with them individually. I think it’s wild how at ages 3, 2 and 1, I can already see so much of who they are... what comes easy to them, what is challenging, what brings them joy, what makes them most mad, how they interact with others, etc. I get a front row seat!
3. Do you ever miss working outside of the home and if so, what do you miss? In all honesty I do not. If anything, I miss the idea of it; drinking a hot coffee uninterrupted, getting in the car without having to strap and unstrap 3 car seats... Being a mom full time carries such physical, mental and emotional stresses that it seems easier to not have to deal with the demands of raising kids all day. But I know for me, if I worked outside of the house full time it would be drudgery, no matter what the work was. My mind and heart would be with my children
4. Do you plan to go back to work? If so, what is your ideal work situation? How do you wish employers treated working Moms? I do not know what my future holds and I am open to what God has planned for me! That being said, I do not have plans to work outside of the home anytime soon. I would like to say my plans are to raise my children, then care for my parents as they become elderly and help my children raise their children, but who knows! I do enjoy sitting with a person, listening to them and offering advice or “coaching”. But that is just part of who I am and I will always incorporate that into my life to any degree whether or not I am ever paid for it again.
4a. What skills from being a SAHM translate to the workplace? Running a home is like running a business. You are the overseer of all things, planning the day to day and making sure all things run smoothly. You have a budget to keep and goals to reach. And many tasks to complete in a time sensitive manor. If you have more than one child, you have to manage individual lives and know them each distinctively... Their strengths, weaknesses, where their is room for improvement, when you need to come down on them hard or lighten things up. You get to be creative; in cooking, organizing and beautifying your home, buying clothing and dressing your children, finding ways to keep them active and learning. The list goes on and on.
5. If you had 3 wishes to make staying home easier, what would they be? To have a cook, a house keeper, and a babysitter. Just kidding. That was my first instinct but in reality that would strip my children from seeing what hard work and making something from nothing looks like. My 3 wishes would be: 1. To be able to have a clear, descriptive timeline of each of my children’s accomplishments/ personal growth in my head. This would help me to see and remember how far they’ve come. We might be dealing with tantrums now but at least we got past biting! Lol 2. To know what it was like for me at their age so I can relate and deal with them accordingly. It’s crazy how when you’re young you wish your parents would understand you better and then BAM your the parent and your perspective has seamlessly changed and it’s hard to see from the former view again. 3. To have all of God’s wisdom to raise them!
6. What do you want most for your kids to know about you as a person? I want them to know I love God and that Jesus gave me life in abundance. I want them to know and see how much I love and respect their father. I want them to see my joy. I want them to know that I am family oriented first and foremost. I want them to know virtues I cherish like fortitude, perseverance, selflessness, hard work, sacrifice, patience, empathy. I want them to know how important church is to me.
7. What do you do for self-care and why is this important? I put my kids to bed early every night, spend quality time with my husband or read a good book with some hot tea. I chat with my friends throughout the day and make time to see them often. I pray. I organize, declutter and redecorate my house because it’s fun for me. I socialize a lot on the weekends (with and without kids). I take long, boiling hot showers. These things are important because they charge my batteries and give life a rhythm, an ebb and flow.
_______________________________
Thank you rockstar Moms Nicole and Christine!! You are incredible women and the world is lucky to have you!
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